Smart Dating Tips for Solo Female Travellers
If you are anything like myself you enjoy dating overseas. Casual holiday romances are my favourite pastimes. I love getting swept up in the steamy, short love affair miles away from “real life” and just enjoying myself without worrying about where this will go because most of the time it’s just for this moment so why not just enjoy it? I also find that the best sex I have had is when I have been travelling and making the most of a 24-hour whirlwind romance.
But it’s important to be still aware and safe as you take these spicy adventures while you are adventuring. I know I have put myself in situations in the past that I wouldn’t allow myself to be in now, Dating while overseas can be fun and a wonderful experience as long as we put boundaries in place, use common sense and listen to our guts; we can make sure that this is a wonderful experience to enjoy. Below are some tips/ advice that I use when dating overseas that might help you too.
10 Smart Dating Tips for Solo Female Travellers:
Use Trusted Dating Apps: There are two main ways that I usually meet people overseas, either in person or on dating apps. If you are to use dating apps make sure to use well-known apps like Bumble, Tinder, or Hinge that offer safety features. Apps with Identity verifications help to protect you from scammers or unwanted companies. When I am hitting it off with someone from an app, I will ask them for their social media before meeting up with them to help confirm that they are indeed who they say they are, I also like to message on a different platform and send photos (Not Nudes) in real-time and receive them back to know they are genuine.
Apps can be a great way to connect you with more people in the area that you are staying in and allow you to have experiences you wouldn’t have had before. When I first moved to London I went on many dates with men, they ended up showing me around and I got to experience local recommendations for the area without strings attached.
Always choose public Meeting Spots: This is so important! I always meet in person, whether it be at home or when I’m travelling a public location is a must. I like to start with a meeting in the day, either a coffee somewhere or a nice spot for lunch. It allows you to be more safe and easier to get away if you are not feeling the situation. Depending on where you are staying and what is around I always like picking somewhere close to where I stay as a base because it is usually the area that is most familiar to you. If the person you are to go on a date with keeps trying to meet you in a private setting only… Run. Also don’t get them to pick you up if they have a car, I have put myself in this situation once and it wasn’t the greatest, they ended up driving somewhere 30 minutes away in a remote area. The spot we went to was beautiful in the end but the date was not. So please don’t follow in my footsteps.
Never tell them you are travelling alone: This applies to anyone you meet while travelling Unless it is other travellers who become friends or someone you trust. I will always tell people that I am travelling with friends. This adds a layer of security by making it seem like someone will be expecting you back. Honestly, I do this when I get picked up from the airport or anywhere I am solo and someone asks if I am travelling alone, I usually say “I am meeting up with some friends” or “I have family here”. Definitely can’t recommend this tip enough.
Share your location & Plans: Every time I plan on a date with someone in a different country I let someone know where and when I’ll be on a date, as well as the person’s name, photo and contact details if I have them. I had a guy once send me a photo of his passport just to make me feel at ease. Even if it’s a friend you just made in the same area or a friend or your mum back home someone must know where you are going to be in case something is to go wrong. I always have my phone location on with one person so they can track my phone. If you don’t have anyone you can trust with this information it’s good to just let the people at the hotel or hostel you are staying, leave them a message.
Trust your Gut: I seem to be able to trust my gut better when travelling than I do when dating men in my hometown. But jokes aside, your gut is the only thing you can trust when you are meeting up with someone. Have you ever had that feeling where something didn’t sit right with you and you couldn’t exactly be sure why? That is your gut telling you to be cautious. Always listen to it, if you feel uncomfortable or unsure of the situation you are in leave or try to ask yourself how could you feel more comfortable in this situation, could you walk somewhere with more people? Always put yourself first and don’t pass your boundaries, I know some situations where I need to leave or speak up because I didn’t feel completely sure and I stayed because I didn’t want to upset my date or make it a big deal and I regret those moments, Please trust your gut at all times when travelling.
Stay Sober & Aware: If you are meeting up with someone it’s a good idea to not get too intoxicated where your level of judgement drops and you are more open to making bad decisions. Enjoy a drink or two but know where your limit is, this is an important boundary to keep in place if you are meeting someone for a drink or dinner. I get if you go out for a night of partying and meet someone then this is a little different but still try and keep up your water intake and trust your gut in situations like this.
Always have an Exit Plan: It’s a good idea to familiarise yourself with transport options in the area you are in if you need to exit. Not every date we go on is going to be great and sometimes we need to come up with a plan to ditch the date. I always like to use the one “My friends asked me to meet them at (this time) for an activity, sorry but I do have to go” or “I need to go talk to the manager of my hostel at this time to fix this problem”, I like to go into a date with something that I might have to do later so it’s not unexpected and gives you the option to ditch that plan if the date is going well.
So always go in with an exit plan and hope that you won’t have to use it, but it’s just important to be prepared.
Make sure your phone is fully charged: Before going on a date ensure your phone is fully charged and you have a sim card to be able to contact people if you need. Your phone is secretly a safety weapon when meeting someone you haven’t met before, to ensure your safety always charge it before you go and have a local number that you can use to contact people. I like to have the emergency numbers for the country I am in saved into my phone as well for ease.
Limit Social Media: I know I am guilty of this, always posting where I am at the exact moment but it is something I am working on. I get too excited sometimes about where I am and just post without really thinking. So this tip isn’t just for you, it’s for me too. It’s recommended that we avoid posting your exact location in real-time and play tagging locations until after you’ve left to guarantee extra security because we don’t know who is watching our stories or content. Let’s work on this advice together!
Beware of your surroundings: It’s important that we stay observant know matter whether we are on a date or just our exploring. We need to pay attention to who is around us, especially in unfamiliar areas or during dates. If the person you’re meeting seems overly interested in your plans or movements, that’s a red flag—trust your instincts and use your exit plan to remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation.
Smart Dating Tips for Solo Female Travellers
Dating overseas can be an exciting way to meet new people, learn about different cultures, and create memorable connections - In my experience they have mainly been positive. However, staying safe and trusting your instincts should always be your top priorities. Look for green flags that show respect, honesty, and genuine interest, while being mindful of red flags that might signal questionable intentions. By setting clear boundaries, staying aware of your surroundings, and prioritizing your comfort, you can enjoy the adventure of meeting new people while keeping yourself protected. Below I have put together a few green and red flag to follow when dating abroad.
This is my friend S, S asked me out when I was sitting in a local cafe having lunch in Cape Town. We went out for a drink next to my hostel and became friends. S showed me around Cape Town for the rest of my time there and we still talk today. Having good boundaries in place can help to create meaningful connections wherever you may be in the world.
Smart Dating Tips for Solo Female Travellers - Red Flags 🚩
Watch out for these warning signs that someone might not have the best intentions:
Pressures You to Meet Privately
They insist on meeting at their place, in secluded areas, or skipping public settings. I had a guy once try and pressure me into meeting him at his house, it was a no from me. No man is worth
disrespecting your own boundaries.
Avoids Questions About Themselves
They’re vague about their background, job, or intentions, leaving you with unanswered questions. It’s important to get to know someone and if they intentions are geniune then they would want you to get to know them as well as they are interested in getting to know you.
Gets Too Close, Too Fast
Over-the-top compliments or declarations of affection early on can be a tactic to lower your guard. A hand on the leg or unwanted affection to soon is a big turn off, I had a guy try to stick his tongue down my throat within 10 minutes of our date, lucky I had a exit plan to get me out of there ASAP.
Asks for Money or Favors
Any request for financial help or favors is a major red flag, especially if they use a sob story to manipulate you. This can happen… Please be aware.
Pushes for Personal Information
They’re overly curious about your travel plans, accommodations, or finances. If they start asking the name of where you are staying or your exact plans over the next few hours/ days please be aware and stay alert.
Disrespects Local or Cultural Norms
They act inappropriately, criticize your cultural background, or seem entitled. Not worth your time if they can’t respect you or the location your both in.
You Feel Watched or Controlled
They seem to monitor your movements, or you notice unusual behavior like following you after the date. Trust your gut and don’t feel bad if you want to get the hell out of there.
Smart Dating Tips for Solo Female Travellers - Green Flags 💚
These are signs someone is respectful, genuine, and worth your time:
Respects Your Boundaries
They’re okay with meeting in public places and don’t push you for personal details (like your hotel location). This is how it should be, enjoy meeting them in public and maybe you will both find yourself enjoying people watching.
Shows Interest in You as a Person
They ask about your hobbies, travels, or interests rather than focusing only on physical attraction. Attention to detail is everything, it also makes you feel like they actually care and want to get to know you.
Understands Cultural Differences
They’re patient and willing to explain cultural norms or customs without judgment. Patience is everything, I went on a date with a guy who didn’t speak a word of english, the whole time we communicated through Google Translate and it was a wonderful date nonetheless.
Communicates Clearly and Honestly
They share details about themselves and are open without being invasive. Making sure that you both learn things about each other is important and shows that they want you to get to know them too.
Values Your Comfort
They let you set the pace of the date and ensure you feel safe and at ease. They must respect your boundaries and how you feel with them, if they don’t show respect or try to rush things then they aren’t worth your time.
Has a Local Support System
They speak fondly of family, friends, or local community connections—this shows stability and reliability. It also shows that they are geniune and come from a place of love.
Hopefully these tips and flags can help you to nagivate dating as a solo female traveller and bring more wonderful experiences into your world. I really do enjoy dating abroad and dating people from other cultures, learning about their ways of life and traditions teaches me so many wonderful things and allows me to have an open mind and adapt my ways to accomdate other peoples ways of life too. It’s a fun and rewarding experience if you can set up good boundaries and allow yourself to have fun while being safe. Enjoy!